Polyamorous Dating

           Who would have known polyamorous dating is almost exactly the same as average dating. It's fun, It's exciting, It's nerve racking and you're going to say a lot of dumb stuff at the wrong moments to complete strangers. Woot! its almost exactly the same as monogamous dating (sarcasm). Not having done my research into polyamory or polyamorous dating, I learned a lot in a few days after a polyamory get together. I said some really dumb things and it was obvious to the group that I did not realize the implications of what I was saying. I learned this by their later responses to my comments, which I took to heart and to be very helpful. Without knowing enough about what I was asking or saying I made a room full of open-minded, forgiving people feel uncomfortable and turned off. Just what I never wanted to do! I did it because I didn't do my research and I am an Idiot sometime.

           If I could give any advice to someone just getting into polyamorous dating, it would be this, Do your research! That way you don't make yourself look like an ass or make others feel uncomfortable. Once you have done that, the dating part should go a lot easier for you. I unfortunately found this out the hard way and did my best to make amends with the people that were there and learned a lot after the fact, the hard way. I may have already stained my persona with my new group of friends, but they seem very forgiving, so I hope the stains can be washed away with time.

           What I did learn form this experience is that polyamorous dating is almost the same as monogamous dating. In the fact that you are perusing the one person and not the couple or the group, but that's not to say that dating the couple or multiple members of a group is out of the question, it's just for a later discussion. Polyamory is not free-for-all or buffet dating as I learned, it is about your connection with that one other person or persons your interested in. After that connection is made then during of after that connection you can look for other partners if the first connection is not enough or you're not satisfied with just one partner or happen to find someone else by chance. However if you are interested in multiple people at the same time remember that taking it one at a time is much easier. Otherwise  you are going to have to deal with more issues and complications. Remember theses are just my observations and reasoning I don't believe there're

any set rules for dating, just simple principles to live by. Live by them, Learn by them and don't be afraid to change them.

My First Post

Polyamory? what the Fuck is that? Open relationships, What? That was the first thought that went through my mind when I heard about polyamory. But not in the way your thinking, It was more "that's what it is"!, that's what I has missed, I had overlooked Polyamory. That's what I should do, I like monogamous relationships, but I don't like the feeling of only loving one person. I never thought about it that way before or to it's full extent. It was always  just a passing thought with poor assumptions about what polyamory really meant.

           That's when a Friend from a (Meetup.com) group mentioned that he and his fiancee host a Polyamory meet-up group sometimes. The rest of that meeting all I could think was, what dose Polyamory really mean. Now I know what it means, but what dose it entail? Are there rules? How do you meet People who are in to that? Shit!, where do you meet people who think like that, anyway? And so on. The whole night I kept asking questions to myself. At one point I noticed I had no Idea what the people in the meet-up group that night were talking about.

           I guess it was about a week later I decide to find out first hand, But how was I to going to go about it? With a quick meet-up search I found three near me that were in the city; which is close enough for me. I decided not to do any research at all before going to my first meet-up, whether this was a good Idea or not, I don't know. I wanted to go in to this with an open mind like a sponge and open to what ever may happen or I may experience.

           The first meet-up I went to I was at a karaoke bar that my friend form the other meetup recommended. It was not their normal meetup bar and I soon found out why. It was way too loud and I could not get many questions out, but that ended up being a good thing in a way. Immersing yourself and experiencing polyamory first hand is not for everyone! That was the first thought that ran though my mind as I watched the interactions of the couples. I watched as couples kissing in front of their husbands or wife's. Some sat on their boy friends or girlfriends laps and that's when noticing the reactions of their husbands or wife's. They seemed !Un-phased! and SO WAS I ?!?

           That's when I decide that Polyamory was something I could do, I could do this! I don't get jealous, not that I don't care it's just that I  know there could be more then One!, One! for everyone. Your odds of finding your true love that is exactly like you and the way you always imagined is worse then hitting the lottery; its dam near impossible. I don't care what you say, you can say " But I do, my boyfriend or girlfriend is perfect in every way". Well I am calling Bull shit!

           To me Polyamory seems like a possible solution for some of my relationship problems. I may love some one so much that they are almost the perfect one for me, but I have a need for some one a little different in half my life. The other half to my Yin-Yang. With Polyamory this is possible I can fulfill both my needs, my (partner's) needs and make it work? Maybe? will find out.........